God Loves Messy Things
For God sees everything you do and His eyes are wide open as He observes every single habit you have. Proverbs 5:21
Over the next few months, we began integrating these new systems into our house.
Morning Briefings - Don't stop meeting with your husband in the morning, only to exchange it for a TikTok session - but continue and instead, begin with prayer. Start your day praying for each other rather than building it on busyness and productivity. From Justin Whitmel Eearley's chapter on Waking in Habits of the Household... "If the light of morning is what wakes us to the day, then the light of Christ must be what wakes us to reality."
Sleep Schedule - Implement bedtimes (even for us adults). Get the rest you need! Set your body up for success!
Household Chores - Our family is a team and together we have a responsibility to care for the house and its contents so that we can all function. Since there are five of us, we split the house into five sections: kitchen, living room, dining, entry/hallway, and restrooms. We wrote down our expectations for each room on paint cards and each week, we have a paint card that we're responsible for. Now we only need to do a quick spruce up for impromptu guest visits.
As we started making the changes, we found that the house actually needed an overhaul. We realized that it wasn't set up to work for us... Kitchen utensils were scattered. Laundry was washed twice over (some items didn't even fit). Books... toys... EVERYTHING needed to have purpose and put in its place. Since Aldo's dad was going to visit in June, we made it our goal to complete our "Spring Cleaning" by then.
Coincidentally (although I don't believe it was coincidence at all), I ordered my own copy of The Purpose Driven Life in April. I saw that Rick Warren also wrote The Daniel Plan: 40 Days to a Healthier Life, and ordered it too. In the past, I had lost 43lbs in 6mo from an intense diet and had gained it all back, plus a few extra pounds, over the past two years. I understood that along with all the habits listed above, Health was also a major priority. But where to start?
Health - From Warren's book, we start with faith. God is the one who created you; He understands you better than you understand yourself. I was challenged to take my family's habits of health to God first. I know what the world's wisdom says about dieting (no gluten, no dairy, no carbs, no calories, no sugar, intermittent fasting... and so on). And, I've heard what they say about exercise. But the One who gave me the blueprint for my home could give me directions here.
During this time, I also studied the book of Daniel. I challenged myself to have fresh fruit on hand. To make healthy smoothies. To eat real (homemade), colorful food... because "food is medicine," and at the same time, I was worried the Lord might ask me to fast or go completely vegetarian (similar to Daniel). But He didn't. Today, I realize that all of the "healthier eating" that I've been stressing about has been my own doing. Wisdom of the world at it again. The only word the Lord ever repeated to me was, "Exercise". And maybe I ignored it, but for sure resisted it for a while.
Life didn't cease. Sometimes it felt like when I was successful in one area, another suffered. I couldn't seem to find the balance. We/I had to switch priorities several times. And, I'll probably re-prioritize again. Relationship with God first. Rest (sleep) before Exercise. Exercise in conjunction with drinking plenty of Water. Don't forget others! My husband, my kids, my church family. (I haven't yet read the chapter on Friends.)
"If our goal was to do something perfect, we'd still be doing nothing. But that is not the goal; the goal is just to do something, and a messy something is still something. ...In the story of God, messy things are things still worth loving..."
"[Understanding grace] means that we understand that our mess doesn't stand in the way of connecting with God, it is the means by which we connect with God. Hiding our mess always ends up meaning we hide from God. But bringing our mess to Jesus is the beginning of faith."
Summer was coming and I was about to have all three kids at home and my nephews. It would be a full house and I foresaw that we would need to get some rules in place as far as screen time goes.
Screetime - Cars are a device-free zone. Care time is a good time to talk, listen to music or play a game together. In the summer, from 10AM-2PM (until the coo-coo clock calls out) we are off devices so that we can spend time outside in nature or playing inside together, not ignoring our cousins. Of course, there are exceptions - like on family road trips or during my Tuesday meetings. And finally, devices go to the charging station at night.
Date Nights - My husband and I scheduled every other Thursday as our time to go out to eat alone. We had gotten advice about continuing to date a long time ago, but we had never emphasized it or consistently carried it out. Remaining Thursdays would be definite family times where we sometimes eat at the dinner table (I have yet to read the Earley's chapter on Mealtimes, which will probably be illuminating) and sometimes we watch a movie together.
On June 10, 2023, I downloaded the Strava app and began an exercise routine. I was reminded about how when we're young, we look forward to recess. Life is all about play. I hear my kids ask, "Will you play with me?" A lot of adults have forgotten how to play, me included. We turned the fun into work (a workout). I had to find the activity that excited me again.
Now, I am in the middle of testing them. I used to enjoy cross country in high school (our jogs around the neighborhood). So I began with a run/walk at the park. After a week, I started to worry about my knees and wearing proper footwear. Maybe I was getting ahead of myself? I switched to walking. In different increments, in different places. I also bought a pump to air up my bike tires and went for a ride. I went one mile in half the time it took me to walk, but it resulted in a sore bum for two days. Even in exercise (or rather... play) "God loves messy things."
If you want something you have never had, you must be willing to do something you have never done. Thomas Jefferson
Throughout the course of this experience, I've discovered that I've had a fear of failure for a long time. What is perfectionism but a refusal of anything short of perfect? I've imagined a perfect body for myself, so every time I looked in the mirror and it didn't match - it was rejected and shamed. Whenever I was slow to get out of bed to exercise or weary in eating the right foods, I felt guilt and shame. God has been slowly peeling back the layers of self-deception and denial.
Thank the Lord, He intervenes!
I've learned that His love is unfailing. The song goes, "Your love never fails, never gives up, never runs out on me." Using a picture of marriage, God does not file for divorce. When I mess up, He doesn't throw up His hands and give up, looking for someone better.
I've learned who I am - the beloved of God. It has taken me a while to understand this, and I'm sure it isn't fully comprehended just yet. He looks at me intently in admiration. God is consumed with passion for me. His thoughts about me weigh down His scales.
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit (covered) me together in my mother's womb. Than you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous - how well I know it. Psalm 139:13-14
How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered. I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand. And when I wake up, you are still with me! Psalm 139:17-18
He cares so much that He's showing me wrong thought and life patterns. He has restored me to a reality (the true reality) we can share.
God is pure light. You will never find even a trace of darkness in Him. If we claim that we share life with Him, but keep walking in the realm of darkness, we're fooling ourselves and not living the truth. 1 Jn 1:5-6
The reality is this: I was made to receive His love and to give love in return! Why is it so difficult to receive love? All you have to do is receive it!! Just do it! And if I love what He loves and hate what He hates, that means I cannot hate what He loves... and He loves me. After all, I am a messy thing!
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